A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.

Ludwig Erhard
German economist & politician (1897 – 1977)

Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.

Gallagher

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

Erica Jong

If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion.

J Paul Getty

A Champion is someone who gets up even when he can’t.

Unknown

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.

Alice Kahn

A fox can run faster than a rabbit, yet the rabbit will most times outrun the fox. That is because the fox is running for his dinner; the rabbit is running for his life.

Your biggest task is not to get ahead of others, but to surpass yourself.

Unknown authors

It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great.

Tom Hanks, “League of their Own”

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman